They say there are angels on earth, I know this to be true because I happen to live with one. My son Eli.
As explained earlier, my first foray into parenthood was a less than an easy transition. But after many discussions and let's be honest tears, we decided we did not want Jacob to be an only child. We had always wanted a big family, and with Jacob fast approaching 2 and most of his surgery behind us we decided now was a good time to started trying for our second child.
As before we tried and waited and were disappointed on the months when it didn't happen. I kind of tried to push it to the back of my mind so as not to stress myself out.
Jacob contracted a nasty stomach bug and with his immune system being compromised he ended up in hospital. We stayed in overnight after he was given anti sickness meds and fluids through a drip. Once we were home I became ill I was quite sick and booked an appointment to get some anti sickness tabs from the doctors, it wasn't until Antony said "you better tell the doc were trying for a baby, because you might not be able to have them" that I realised, hang on I'm late.....
I grabbed a test out of the cupboard and did it and popped it on the side. While washing my hands I couldn't help but look and right there before my eyes those 2 lines were shining out at me. Yes, I thought. I'm pregnant.
After confirmation at the doctors it was decided I would be put under consultant care for obviously what had happened with Jacob and for another not so pleasant reason. My weight. I had rocketed up to a very unhealthy 15 stone. This was very unwelcome news and on my 5 ft 3 frame quite scary. I tried to concentrate on the positives, but I was scared. As for morning sickness the first 18 weeks I felt so ill that eating was a real chore. I lived on bread and rice and found no comfort in anything food wise. Though I felt very sick I vomited probably only 3 times. This was good. As for the eating, I was panicked that I wasn't getting enough for my baby.
I was sent for a scan at around 9 weeks just to check the viability of my pregnancy. I love how they talk about it like its a bank transaction or something. Well when we arrived I was literally shaking when the probe touched my stomach, but there it was the strong flickering heart beat we had prayed for. I was given the due date of 24th April 2011, Easter Sunday and I was asked to return at 12 weeks for the normal checks and another scan. Everything was great on that too. But when I got into the check up room, they did my blood pressure, and urine all fab. Then I got on the scales..... The nurse said "has someone spoken to you about your weight" so I replied "yes, I have got the info and I'm trying hard, but to be honest I can't eat very much" she responded wide eyed, "your booking weight was 15 stone right?" I nodded, she then said "what have you been doing because you weigh 12 stone 7lbs" I was so shocked I had to sit down. I explained how ill I'd felt but I said other than that I felt really well. She said I was very lucky and to just try to eat healthy.
This came very easy as to be honest I felt amazing. My nails grew, my hair and skin were amazing and unlike the grey tone I had with Jacob I had the elusive pregnancy glow!
I had unknown energy which I just attributed to not working anymore, but I did have a toddler to run around after! Things just seemed different.
At the 20 weeks scan I lay there nervous and excited as we were having a fetal echo, which is a detailed heart scan, to check that all was well there. This would be repeated at 28 weeks. They did all the checks, a little more thoroughly than last time and said all was good. They then asked if we'd like to know the sex.... Now anyone who knows me knows what I'm like. The morning of that scan I sent a message around to everyone saying "think penis" sounds funny but I really wanted another boy, in a way to prove I could do it. I was so cocky about this that I'd already bought blue things previous to this scan. People say "I don't care about what it is as longs as baby is healthy" which I agree with but that didn't work for me last time so I thought what the hell I'm putting it out there.....
So when she said "Congratulations you're having a boy." It just confirmed it for me. We decided to name him Eli Joseph Jude Sale. Eli means ascended, lifted up, and the way I felt he really did feel heaven sent.
I had to have more scans, checking all sorts and everytime it was, yes everything is great! The idea of him being big was being thrown around and I just ignored it as I'd heard that before with Jacob and they couldn't have been more wrong.
I was nervous approaching and passing the 34 week mark, but I was thriving. He made me feel so strong. I was getting very big but able to cope really well and as the due date loomed closer I was so excited setting things up for his birth. After discussions and weighing everything up we decided to go for a natural birth or a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean).
I went past my due date and I was getting uncomfortable and after a couple trips to hosp and a few sweeps (ouch) at 2 days over I was sent in for induction.
The induction process is long, very blooming long. It took 12 hours and a lot of pain from when the pessary was put in for my waters to break on their own, I had already been in hosp 24 hours previous to this and given several sweeps. I had not slept and was exhausted, only 2 cms dilated I was advised to have an epidural, I was very happy at this. I needed to sleep, and I have always been of the opinion that no one gives you a medal for doing it without. I got what felt like an amazing nights sleep but as I hadn't pressed the button I awoke to the pains so the midwife decided to examine me.
This was uncomfortable as I could now feel everything. "good news you're fully dilated" I was over the moon, but my body was saying get this baby out and I felt an overwhelming need to push. They explained that I could only push for an hour because of my previous section. So with everyone armed to go we began the second stage of labour....
I pushed and I pushed and at the hour mark eyes were darting back and forth looking at monitors and each other, "Haylie, baby is getting a little distressed, were going to cut you so that we can get the ventouse suction cup in, you've had an epidural so you won't feel this" and before anyone had a chance to tell her that I hadn't used it for hours, she cut me. I heaved. It was a pain like no other. When I saw what they were intending to use on my baby I screamed NO! And pushed like my life depended on it, all of a sudden they told me to give a smaller push and he was out.
My eyes widened when I saw him, oh my god I thought. Thank you.
At 11.19 on Thursday 28th April 2011, Eli was born weighing 8lb 7oz and he was long at 58cms!
I always laugh that I had my smallest baby by section and my biggest naturally, but that's life and even though Eli was twice the size of Jacob I was just happy I had them both!
They tell me my labour was traumatic but I felt like a superhero. As they stitched me up (all 38 of them) and the lay him on my chest he stared into my eyes like he knew me like I could finally enjoy this.
That night I just stared at him I couldn't believe it. When the doctors came to check him over I was over the moon to find out I had a beautiful healthy boy. Antony brought Jacob up and having them both there was what made it all worth it, the worry the pain, everything.
I do believe he saved me. He was and is a pleasure to have and me and Antony often joke that he should have been called pleasure. Everything with him has been effortless. He just makes our life better and to see him with Jacob was heart warming at the least.
Born with a mop of beautiful hair he is now known for he is our cheeky little chap, who restored my faith and gave me Hope. I adore him and the love I have for him and Jacob is immeasurable, to the point where I could make it stretch to another one! Eli is now 2 and is little ball of energy. His smile melts my heart .
My Boy, My Angel. Eli.
H xxx
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